And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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