I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my shit smells like andre
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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