Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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