Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
