I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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