He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
