so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
