is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
