all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
