You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
