I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
