And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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