I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
