I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
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Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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