Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
