yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
the liver wants what the liver wants
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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