im about as happy as oj after his trial
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
