piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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