it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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