Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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