i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
