My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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