bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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