It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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