Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
