Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
