I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
