Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
