So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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