i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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