turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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