no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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