if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.