were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
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I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.