no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
