His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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