franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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