im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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