would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize