we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
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How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
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I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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