My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
