No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were destined to go to rehab together
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
