Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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