ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
