Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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