Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
