Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
