We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
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