I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
