they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
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Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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