Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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