His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
