You kept calling me your small dog last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
