in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
