If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
