he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
