I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
