I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
