That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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