I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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