Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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