Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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