another moral hangover. fuck.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize