so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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